My Life

I don’t know where to begin, Let’s get help from my friends and start by answering them. 2 friends told me that I’m only talking of negative in my life and then asked me about positive things in my life, ok, that’s a fair question, but need some thinking to find if there are something positive. Maybe I’m missing many stuff, but I can recall that I have good cyber friends in my life which seems they care about me and it’s a good thing, maybe not all of them are who they claim to be but I’ve some good friends between them. I have a kind mother and a sister, I have a father, even though I have some words about my family. I’ve never been left hungry like the kids in Africa or I’ve never been attacked physically by my family, these are good things, see…! I tried to see positive things in my life. ...

A note before starting this post: I don’t mean to catch anyone’s attention with these posts I write, I just want to speak out what’s in my mind and hope someone who can understand me read it and answer it, one who really can see the world from same view I see… I don’t understand why world is this way, why it does not show us a good way and why live if everything is fucked up? ...

I want to say something but I don’t know what, I want to talk, I want to speak but to no one, I want to express myself but no word is capable of doing that, I want to say whatever that comes to my mind but no ear can listen, I know there are people who are willing to help and offer me to listen to me but… Does everyone have to listen to my complains? Complaining about everything and everyone, Do they have to listen to my words when you realize those are absolute nonsense, Yeah really nonsense because there are no thinking behind those words, those are just something to be said… ...

I’m not going jump off from the tower, I’m not going to overdoes any drug, I’m not going to cut my Wrist, I’m not going to drive high speed against a wall without seatbelt (but I’ve to claim that’s fun if do it with a good music!), I’m not going to burn myself with gasoline, not drowning too, I’m not going to turn on my car in the garage with the doors closed, I’m not going to headshot myself (I don’t have a gun), I’m not going to lock myself in a very cold place, I’m not going to hug a high voltage wire, not hanging myself too, I’m not going to jump in front of metro, train or a car in highway…! no! I’m not going to suicide! ...

Did you ever try hard to reach someone and when you did you find your mouth shut? I did several times and it drive me crazy! That’s not a nice feeling and I don’t know what’s the reason of this weakness, I hope its not what I think it may be. Well, “Low Self-Esteem” can be one of the reasons, But self-esteem itself can be affected by many other factors like environment, economic situation, personal factors like ‘culture’ or ‘look’, social position, education, intelligence, health etc.… ...

Hey Guys! Last month has been a good one for me, I could get some new toys for myself and that’s good, I’ve not completed my todo list (or shopping list), but some important one is done. Here is some of them: A new phone: HTC Wildfire S, I like it, not a very powerful one but its doing the job I need, let me access my messenger and emails and also have my dropbox and evernote with myself. A new multifunction printer: HP OfficeJet 4500 Wireless, it looks good, not a speedy printer or professional quality prints, but it connects wirelessly to my router and everyone at home can use it for scan/print/copy or fax. A new external DVD-writer: Not best choice I had, but I did, a portable Samsung DVD-Writer, I think a non-portable could be a better choice, but now I’ve bought it and gonna see how it works! A new USB Hub: D-Link 7-Port USB Hub, really these days 4 USB port is not enough and this one has been something essential for me, now I can connect all my stuff in same time! (music player, external hard drive, external DVD-RW, phone etc) Yeah, those are some of the my new toys, but in the future I will be looking for a new monitor, an external sound card and some other gadgets, Do you have any suggestion which model and brand is best? Let me know! ...

Hi People! I need your help for restoring my PayPal account, as of Jan 2011 PayPal has limited my account and asking me verify some stuff which right now I cannot, Do you have any idea what I can do for this? Click on image to see full size: As you see in the image, its asking me for a Photo ID and proof of address, Since I live somewhere of world that is affected by US Embargo law either of documents I send to them will be rejected and also result in blocking my account, so, Does any of you have an idea what I can do for this? every single idea from you will be welcome, share your ideas in the comments blow or send them to me via “Contact Me” link above this page.

Today morning I had a meeting with my doctor, giving him test results I had taken last week. Good and bad news here. High Uric Acid beside High Triglycerides, High Total Cholesterol, High LDL and very low HDL is part of the stuff in the result. In this test high Uric Acid is something new beside old problems, I’ve no idea what could be reason because I don’t takes that much meat or alcohol, but one of my BP meds could be the reason (Diuretics Meds, Read here how it can affect). ...

Finally first level of my German class at Goethe-Institut finished (Read here when it begin) and I’m so sad, I will miss all my great classmate and teacher, we have been a great group, really a perfect group together and it was not easy to say Bye. I passed the A1.1 level with “satisfactory” score (Evaluation), yeah I know I could do better but… I will try to practice at home too for the next level. ...

Hey People! Many of you complain (or only think) that I don’t care about you, because I don’t get in touch with you often. Well, you are thinking wrong! The fact that I don’t call you often is true (Either via phone, messenger, email or social networks), But I’ve a reason for that and its that I never want to be a person that you think why you allowed to become a friend of you, I would rather to be “nothing” rather than “bother”, I will explain it more: ...