Did you ever try hard to reach someone and when you did you find your mouth shut? I did several times and it drive me crazy!
That’s not a nice feeling and I don’t know what’s the reason of this weakness, I hope its not what I think it may be.
Well, “Low Self-Esteem” can be one of the reasons, But self-esteem itself can be affected by many other factors like environment, economic situation, personal factors like ‘culture’ or ‘look’, social position, education, intelligence, health etc.…
Ok lets keep it simple and don’t go into complicated topics, I will try to show the situation from another view: How does it come that sometimes in meeting with some ‘common’ people we (or at least I) feel extremely weak? Where I count the seconds for the meeting and when I reach the meeting I found no word to talk about and waste the time… When it happens I wish I could go live on a planet that there are no other human to get rid of this feeling and don’t get into this again.
Excuse me if this post looks fragmented and changing from a subject to another, its because I don’t know how to change what’s on my mind into text, I’m writing whatever that comes into my mind at the moment, hope it will stay clear…
I don’t know what’s wrong and what’s normal now, I don’t know what I’m doing right and what wrong, I don’t know what to do, but I know this way I will end up in madhouse!
When I’m alone I feel fine, I’m stay away from troubles and many pressures, that’s good, but from time to time I will feel some ‘gap’ and recently its going to hurt more, ruining all my days and I want to stop it, I’ve enough trouble and don’t need new ones…
Well, I will finish this post here because I don’t know if I continue it where it will go.