Happy New Computer (To me!) Finally it was time to get a new computer as the old one was not working any longer for my needs and about a month ago passed away with a broken Graphic Card. After saving a few $$$ and considering my budget I got a good balance of power-computer and price. Here is configuration of my new computer (Click on images to see full size): ...
Hey Folks Maybe you have noticed that I’ve been less active here in my forum and there are some reasons for that! Over last 2 months (or maybe 3) I’ve been busy with several stuff and on top of them with my website, so here is what I’ve done so far or what I am going to do: I got my own hosting. [Done] Moved my website from Google Sites to my own hosting. [In Progress – some pages are left to move, some out-dated content] Moved TechBlog from Blogger to my own hosting. [Done] Moved LifeBlog (yeah, you are reading it now!) from Blogger to my own hosting. [Done] Moved EntBlog from WordPress to my own hosting and started posting again after years. [Done] Moved Forum to my own hosting. [In Progress – needs a new look, need to link accounts with QnA] Started QnA. [In Progress – needs a new look, need to link accounts with forum] Started Support Center with Email Piping support. [Done] Translating the site into Persian [My native language]. [In Progress – 150 pages are left] Translating the site into German. [To-do] It is not easy to move from one to another platform without losing contents to without breaking links, so I had to do so much coding and writing lots of custom scripts to extract old contents and import them into new platforms. Also even though I’m done moving blogs or sites or starting the new systems, still there are a lot of under-the-hood changes and works that should be done. e.g. Forum needs a new look to match the new site theme, QnA too, oh, and since I’m hosting the blogs and site etc myself, I need to make sure my sites are secure, stable and fast and those maintenance needs time too. And I don’t have a team, so working on all of these stuff needs time. ...
Talking of German class, A2 is passed too and I will be heading to B1 in next 2 weeks. These 2 classes in A2 (A2.1 and A2.2) had lots of memories for me, meeting good people, getting to know a really good man as teacher and… I never had this much happiness, sadness, stress, changes etc. in any era of my life, I’ve had lots of good memories from my first class but I can say A2 were more “living” with all the surrounding stories it had. Stuff that changed many things for me, and these changes cannot be undone, and I don’t want them to be undone. I will play it, I will take it and deal with it. Let’s see what happens. ...
Hey Folks I’m back with some new toys to listen music even better, here we go: Creative Sound Blaster X-Fi Surround 5.1 Pro USB Sound Card A USB Sound Card, better audio quality than internal sound card of computer (24-bit/96kHz) with a handy volume control on top. Since it connects to computer via a USB cable I can have it on my desk so connecting headphone or microphone to it is much easier too. It allow you to connect your speaker, microphone, aux and headphone all in same time. ...
Ding diding diding ding… Mobile phone’s alarm wake me up, It’s 8 AM again and it’s not either Thursday or Friday otherwise he would let me sleep a bit more, with closed eyes I look for the mobile beside my bed to find it and stop the alarm, I pick it up and drag that red button to stop the alarm, let’s take a look what happened in the last 4-5 hours that I’ve been sleeping, any text message or email? Hmmm, nothing important as expected just some social networks notifications and promotional email and no text message, what do I expect this early when during the day I get nothing? ...
You know, suicide is one of the stuff that I’ve always given a thumb-up to, but every person in this small world has their own reason to stay away from that, one may love his/her life and see no reason for doing that, good for them!, one may afraid of death, one may don’t afraid of death and care about what happens after their death and… Those people who think about “What happens after I do this” are same people who wish they could disappear from world, thinking wish they could left without having an effect on anyone else, Thinking “Can my mother take it?” or “How my sister will become after hearing this” etc. and the person think wish he/she could leave with his/her memory, clean everyone’s mind from his/her memory so everyone could forget there was such person in this world and then person could left without any memory, it’s about solving his/her own problem not throwing it at someone else, or solve their own problem and give a larger group lots of other problem like depression or ruining their life… ...
I never could understand those people that afraid everything and everyone, why people don’t live in a normal and easy world? Why take it so hard? I’m talking of the moment when I respect a boy and he behaves defensive because he thinks I’m looking for his money… I’m talking of the moment when I respect a man and he behaves defensive because he thinks I’m looking to use his position… ...
I don’t know if I should be happy or sad, when I remember sweet and beautiful memories which were nice at the moment those days but now they are gone and remembering them hurts. Yeah it’s kinda weird that why such good memories can hurt, people always look for having good time with good people but when time goes on remembering those good times can be hurting and so you wish you had not those good days to remember them later and hurt yourself, ‘unfortunately unforgettable sweet memories’. ...
I can’t stand to let them win, I’m just watching them, And I don’t know what to do, Feeling like a fool inside, Feeling all the hurt… Thought they were my friends. Never mind… Let’s talk about something else, What super-power you wished in your life to have? I mean something like Time-travel, going invisible, mind-reading, unlimited body strength etc.., Mine is going invisible, always I wished I could be like that, going invisible and see so much things that I never can see and hear now. Going invisible and see what people say about me when I’m not there, going and invisible and then go into peoples life to see how much different they when they are alone in compare to when they are with us, going invisible and then go beyond the allowed borders to see what’s in the other side that we are not allowed to see, going invisible to get rid of all of the eyes watching me. ...
They told me look at everything positive, so I’m gonna do it: “This Depression is Great!” I believe many of the solutions advised by psychologist out there is kind of “fooling oneself” fooling and fooling, so many stupid things in a row to do best phantasy to make hell look beautiful for the person and make him believe everything is cool and be happy while he is in hell!, that’s the reason I never wanted meet one of them, they don’t know anything about your life and then they want to decide about your life and saying what’s right and what not. ...
I don’t know where to begin, Let’s get help from my friends and start by answering them. 2 friends told me that I’m only talking of negative in my life and then asked me about positive things in my life, ok, that’s a fair question, but need some thinking to find if there are something positive. Maybe I’m missing many stuff, but I can recall that I have good cyber friends in my life which seems they care about me and it’s a good thing, maybe not all of them are who they claim to be but I’ve some good friends between them. I have a kind mother and a sister, I have a father, even though I have some words about my family. I’ve never been left hungry like the kids in Africa or I’ve never been attacked physically by my family, these are good things, see…! I tried to see positive things in my life. ...
A note before starting this post: I don’t mean to catch anyone’s attention with these posts I write, I just want to speak out what’s in my mind and hope someone who can understand me read it and answer it, one who really can see the world from same view I see… I don’t understand why world is this way, why it does not show us a good way and why live if everything is fucked up? ...
I want to say something but I don’t know what, I want to talk, I want to speak but to no one, I want to express myself but no word is capable of doing that, I want to say whatever that comes to my mind but no ear can listen, I know there are people who are willing to help and offer me to listen to me but… Does everyone have to listen to my complains? Complaining about everything and everyone, Do they have to listen to my words when you realize those are absolute nonsense, Yeah really nonsense because there are no thinking behind those words, those are just something to be said… ...
I’m not going jump off from the tower, I’m not going to overdoes any drug, I’m not going to cut my Wrist, I’m not going to drive high speed against a wall without seatbelt (but I’ve to claim that’s fun if do it with a good music!), I’m not going to burn myself with gasoline, not drowning too, I’m not going to turn on my car in the garage with the doors closed, I’m not going to headshot myself (I don’t have a gun), I’m not going to lock myself in a very cold place, I’m not going to hug a high voltage wire, not hanging myself too, I’m not going to jump in front of metro, train or a car in highway…! no! I’m not going to suicide! ...
Did you ever try hard to reach someone and when you did you find your mouth shut? I did several times and it drive me crazy! That’s not a nice feeling and I don’t know what’s the reason of this weakness, I hope its not what I think it may be. Well, “Low Self-Esteem” can be one of the reasons, But self-esteem itself can be affected by many other factors like environment, economic situation, personal factors like ‘culture’ or ‘look’, social position, education, intelligence, health etc.… ...